The Truth About Healing

There’s something you should know about therapists, coaches, and spiritual leaders. We looooove to talk about healing. We love to remind you of all the pain and trauma you’re carrying around. We love to invent fancy new approaches and techniques for helping you heal everything from your broken heart to your ancestral wounds. And some of us especially love to believe that we are the powerful healers who will help to release you from the shackles of your pain, once and for all.

But there’s something else you should know. Healing doesn’t work the way we want you to believe it does. In fact, sometimes we use the world “healing” without really knowing what we mean when we say it. Trust me, most of us in this space really mean well. We know that pain and suffering are part of the human experience. We know that unresolved pain and trauma can keep you from becoming the best possible version of yourself. And we know that healing has a liberating quality that can transform your life in beautiful ways. What we don’t always know is how to reconcile our efforts to be helpful with the real nature of healing. 

 The truth is, healing is a process—and a very personal one, at that. What traumatizes one person may easily roll off another person’s back; what takes one person a minute to get over may take another person a lifetime to overcome. We all have different sensitivities, different triggers, different thresholds for emotional pain. And just as it’s true that we all experience things differently, we tend to process things completely differently, too. The meaning we create from the events of our lives is the emotional, psychological, and energetic weight we wind up carrying around with us. And healing is the work of lifting that weight. 

That work takes effort. It takes patience. It takes courage. It takes time. 

And the way I see it, that work is never over. 

For better or worse, healing is more of a journey than a destination. No one can walk the path for us, and no one can tell us how long it will take. No one can tell us what healing is supposed to look like. The process is unique to each one of us. And it will always continue to change and evolve, as we gain awareness and grow stronger. 

If you want to be happier, healthier, more connected, more abundant, more successful, there’s probably some healing for you to do. And you’ll probably find it helpful to start that work with someone who knows what they’re doing. Remember, true healers are the ones who help you access your own potential to heal yourself. They’re the ones who remind you that you may never arrive at a place of total healing; but being on the journey is a beautiful transformation all its own.

3 Ways to Stay Centered at the End of the Year

Is it just me or does the period of time from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day always feel like it passes at warp speed? Actually, I know it’s not just me. This is something I hear from people all the time. Clients who are normally pretty centered and have an easy time living in a balanced, intentional way tell me they feel completely out of alignment during the holiday season. Other clients talk to me about feeling anxious and overwhelmed during these last few weeks of the year. Whether it’s the holiday hustle, the pressure to finish work projects, the extra time around difficult family members, or the rush to turn the page and start a new year, this period of time can threaten to throw any of us off balance. That is, unless we get super intentional about staying centered and closing the year strong. Here are three ways to do it. 

1. Do a brain dump.
If you’re struggling to keep up with your regular routine while also thinking about all the extra things you have to do to get ready for the holidays and new year, you probably feel pretty pressured and scattered. The best way to clear some space in your head and make it all feel more manageable is to brain dump. This basically means writing down everything that’s swirling around in your mind and organizing it in a way that feels helpful rather than burdensome. To do this, sit down with a pen and paper, and write down every unfinished task, responsibility, to-do list item, and nagging thought that you can call to mind. Don’t worry if it comes out messy, and don’t stop to analyze what you’ve written. Just put pen to paper and dump out everything that’s been swirling around in your head. At a later time, take a few minutes to sit down with what you wrote and organize it into three lists: 

  • Must Do: Things you’re committed to accomplishing before the year is over.
  • Prefer To: Things you’d like to accomplish but aren’t a top priority.
  • Maybe Later. Things that can wait until after the new year.


2. Create time to reflect back and look forward.

This time of year doesn’t have to make you crazy. But to feel sane and settled, it’s important to carve out some intentional time for slowing down and tuning in. This is a great time to reflect back on the year that’s passed and look ahead to the year that’s starting soon. Carve out some time to look back at the last 12 months. What were your most meaningful experiences? What were your biggest accomplishments and achievements? What were the hardest challenges you faced? What were the biggest lessons you learned? This intentional reflection is not only a way to slow down and center yourself, it’s also a way to honor what’s happened and clear space for what’s ahead. And, in a kind of paradoxical way, looking back at where you’ve been and deciding where you’re going next can help you feel more present and connected to where you are now. 


3. Double down on your commitment to yourself. Between the holiday parties, family time, work deadlines, and travel, you might be feeling tossed around and lost in the shuffle. But you are powerful enough to anchor yourself and stay steady through it all. Make self-care a top priority during the remaining weeks of the year. Even if your normal routine is thrown off, make it a point to show up for yourself in every way you can. Journal, paint, dance, sit in silence, speak kindly to yourself, eat slowly, move your body. Put your commitments to yourself at the top of your to-do lists. If you tend to feel overextended with social commitments, let yourself decline some invitations. If you tend to feel lonely at holiday time, find a way to keep loving company with yourself. Whatever this time of year brings for you, you’ll have an easier time managing it if your energy tank is filled up. And you are the best person to fill it!



The 5 Things You Need to Live Your Best and Biggest Life

If there’s anything you should know about me it’s that my biggest mission in life is to activate my fullest potential and help other people do the same. I have a vision for the kind of life I want to live and the kind of world I want to live in—and the way I see it, when you’re at your best, you can live your best and give your best to the world.

In all the years I’ve spent working as a therapist and teacher, I’ve learned a lot about what human beings need in order to become the best possible version of themselves and truly thrive. And as I’ve walked the path of my own healing and growth journey, I’ve gotten an even clearer sense of what it means to live with purposeful intention and manifest a vision. You can’t control life. You can’t make it fair or force it to favor you. But what you can do is move into mastery of yourself. And making that move is pretty much the best use of your time and energy; because when you gain self-mastery, you step into our fullest power and potential. To get into self-mastery mode, you need 5 very important things:

  1. Awareness – This is what happens when you pay attention on purpose with the intention to understand. Want to know a gloriously trippy fact about life? Your sense of reality is formed completely from the things you’re aware of; so basically, the more awareness you have, the bigger your world becomes. If you want to move into self-mastery, start cultivating awareness on purpose.

Ways to get it: Read, take on other people’s perspectives, try new things, travel, train yourself to look at things from multiple angles, self-reflect, write in a journal, go to therapy, meditate

  1. Alchemy – Technically, this word refers to a medieval practice of transforming and purifying certain materials, turning them into gold. But what I mean by it is the process of turning the struggles in your life into strengths. Spinning gold out of the sh*ttier parts, and extracting as much knowledge as possible out of every experience. By practicing alchemy with yourself, you not only get to transform the energy of your past experiences, you also get to utilize every aspect of your life to help you hone in on what you want and where you’re headed.

Ways to get it: Take time to process things as you go through them, look for the lesson in everything, choose to see how you have been (or can become) strengthened by the challenges you’ve faced, practice forgiveness and acceptance

  1. Alignment – This one’s all about walking the talk. It’s about being that which you say that you want. It’s about living in a way that clearly reflects who you are, what you value, what you want, and where you’re headed. Alignment is something you have to do on purpose. It’s an active choosing in an every-single-damn-day sort of way. Cool fact: The more awareness and alchemy you practice, the more aligned you get.

Ways to get it: Know your personal core values, ask yourself what you want on a super regular basis, set clear boundaries in your relationships (and honor them), eliminate things that put you out of touch with yourself, do more of what brings you joy

  1. Accountability – This might be the toughest thing to practice; but if you want to become your best, you can’t skip it. When you practice accountability, you take responsibility for yourself in a really important way. You recognize the role you play in your life, and you hold yourself to the standard of shifting and adjusting in response to your results. When you take responsibility for yourself, you tap into your ultimate power.

Ways to get it: Be your word, own your sh*t, ask for feedback about how you’re showing up

  1. Action –Please listen carefully to what I’m about to say: If you want your best life, you have to go out there and get it. You have to live on purpose, with purpose. You have to put in the damn work. So, if you want to become the best and brightest version of yourself, be active in the process of creating your life. Seek growth. Live in gratitude. Attract light by being light. And, most importantly, give generously from the abundance you receive.

Ways to get it: Set goals and intentions, follow through on them, find the tribe that’s on your vibe, practice gratitude, be the change you wish to see, volunteer, show grace and generosity to everyone you encounter


Want to learn more about how you can work these things into your life? Send me a message, or poke around on the Services section of the site. I’ve designed a 1-on-1 coaching method built on this 5-pillar framework, and new programs are in the works as we speak. Let’s connect and get you to your best life!

Why I Meditate—And Why I Think You Should, Too

Unless you’ve somehow managed to tune out every social trend and pop culture reference of the last five years, you’ve probably noticed that meditation has gotten pretty popular. Wildly popular, in fact.  This ancient practice that was once isolated to mountain-dwelling monks and their most devoted students has fairly recently been appropriated for Western consumption and turned into a complete cultural revolution. Everyone, it seems, has jumped on the meditation bandwagon. And honestly, I’m here for it. 

I first learned about meditation as an anxiety-ridden 18-year-old trying to figure out how to widen the gaps between panic attacks. My therapist at the time, who also happened to be a practicing Buddhist, taught me about meditation and gave me basic instructions for practicing it. She urged me to start meditating for a few minutes every day. At the time, the idea that sitting still and breathing with my eyes closed would somehow help my seemingly incurable anxiety seemed pretty ludicrous to me; but I was desperate enough to give anything a try. So, after my therapy session, I went back to my dorm room and followed the simple set of instructions she’d given me. I sat and I breathed. Then I sat and I breathed some more.  And little by little, those sessions of sitting became an integral part of my daily life. 

The positive impact of meditation on my anxiety and panic attacks wasn’t subtle. 

I can tell you, without the least bit of exaggeration, that they saved me. And over the last 10 years of working with people in my own practice, I’ve seen it save many other people, too.

I’m over 15 years into a regular practice, and I can still only speak about meditation as a beginner. Because no matter how many hours I’ve logged on my cushion, I’m always experiencing the practice as if for the first time. I’m grateful for that. Meditation humbles me. It grounds me. It keeps me aware of my ego in its many amusing disguises. It reminds me that stillness is my truest expression. It gives me the courage to face the things I’d much rather hide from. This, all of this, is why I meditate. 

It’s amazing to think that meditation has been around for literally thousands of years, yet modern researchers of all stripes continue to be stunned by the many profound benefits it has to offer. How did those ancient ancestors of ours know that this subtle practice could so powerfully change our lives (and our brains)? How did they know that the simple act of sitting in stillness could be such a potent medicine? 

The wisdom of meditation really does live in its simplicity. 

Don’t let the fancy apps or the esoteric accounts from self-proclaimed enlightened folks fool you: meditation is its most effective in its most straightforward form. 

If you want to become a meditator, all you need is the commitment to practice. 

You don’t have to light incense or buy a fancy set of mala beads; and your practice will totally still count if you don’t post about it on Instagram.  


Ready to see what all the hype’s about and start meditating? 

To start, set a simple timer for a short period of time; I typically recommend 3 to 5 minutes a day for the first few weeks. You can lie down or stand, but sitting tends to offer the perfect balance of comfort and alertness. When sitting, keep your spine straight so that you’re actively supporting an upright posture; this will help to keep you focused and attentive during your practice. Your eyes can stay open, focused on a spot on the ground in front of you, or you can allow them to gently close. Now, all you need to do is hold the intention to center your attention any time it drifts away. And believe me, it will drift away. When you’re first getting started, it might help to count your breaths as a way to anchor your attention; once you’ve counted 10 full inhales and exhales, start again at 1, and any time you notice that you’ve gotten lost in your thoughts, gently—without thinking about it or beating yourself up—start counting again. If you find yourself coming back to your breathing and counting over and over again because your attention keeps drifting, it means you’re doing it right. 

Keep breathing. Keep counting. Keep drifting. Keep returning. Keep going.  

Like anything in life, you can’t get the benefits of meditation unless you practice it consistently. And sadly, a lot of people who try meditating quickly give up because they think they aren’t any good at it. They expect that their minds are supposed to go silent, and when that doesn’t happen, they assume they’ve somehow failed. But know this: as long as you’re living, your mind will never go completely silent. The point is not to make your mind get quiet, but to learn how to stay centered no matter how much noise it’s making. No matter how troubling your thoughts are. No matter how painful your emotions are. No matter how difficult your circumstances are. No matter what’s going on in your mind, your heart, your relationships, or your life. 

Meditation teaches you that you can be present to all of it. That you can face it all with centered awareness and move through the chaos one breath at a time. 

Are you a devoted meditator? Share with me your reasons for practicing. Ready to get started for the first time? Give me a shout and let me know if I can help you get your practice in motion!

Wellness 101

Are you interested in having a healthy and happy life? Do you want to wake up in the morning feeling inspired and grateful to be alive? Do you want your relationships to thrive? Do I even have to ask you any of this? Of course you want those things! We all do. And that’s why the global wellness industry has grown to be worth over $4.2 trillion! More and more, the desire to feel well and live well is driving people to fork over many a hard-earned dollar for everything from organic produce to Tibetan retreats. And that’s a pretty incredible thing. Good for us for realizing that our wellbeing matters! Good for us for recognizing that life feels a whole lot more meaningful when we carry out our days in the pursuit of our full potential! But here’s the thing: wellness doesn’t have to be complicated or come with a high price tag. In fact, all you need to become a well-oiled wellness machine is intention, some effort—cuz nothing that’s worth it comes easy, amiright?—and a little bit of knowledge about the wellness essentials. 

Here’s what you need to know.

Basically, wellness consists of 8 dimensions:  


The ability to cope effectively with what life throws your way. The awareness of what you’re feeling when you’re feeling it, and the confidence in knowing that you can manage what you’re experiencing and ask for help when you need it.


The experience of being connected to your environment—which includes everything from your home, to your workplace, to the planet. The awareness that taking care of your environment and contributing positively to it makes a positive difference for you and everyone around you. 


The ability to meet your basic needs. A sense of satisfaction with your finances, regardless of how much you make or own. The confidence that comes with understanding your finances and having a plan for the future.


An ongoing desire to keep learning and growing by gaining new knowledge and information, and developing new skills and interests. A willingness to maintain an open mind and adopt new perspectives so you can understand other people, and the world around you, more clearly. 


A sense of personal satisfaction with your work. The willingness to work with intention and purpose, regardless of what you might be doing. The feeling that the work you do is a meaningful contribution. 


A commitment to staying healthy by eating nutritive, life-sustaining foods and regularly exercising. An ongoing connection to your body that’s maintained through things like personal hygiene, healthy physical touch, movement, and rest. 


A sense of being connected to others and being part of a collective. The presence of a support system in your life. The feeling that you matter to other people, and the awareness that other people matter to you. 


A unique and ever-evolving sense that life is meaningful, and that you have a purpose in being here. A sense of connection to the beliefs, values, and morals that guide you. A feeling that you can find peace or connection in something beyond yourself. 


Get familiar with these 8 dimensions of wellness, and start taking stock of where you’re thriving (so you can celebrate that!), and where you can bring more attention and intention. If you scan the list and see that certain dimensions aren’t all that optimal for you, set clear intentions and small daily goals to help you boost those areas of your life. Little by little, one day at a time, you’ll start cultivating more wellness and wellbeing. Who knew you could be a wellness warrior without needing to drink turmeric lattes or buy $200 stretchy pants?!

Five Ways to Discover Your Superpowers

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Five Ways Self-Awareness Can Transform Your Life (Infographic)

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